Es increíble como pasa el tiempo…Aún recuerdo el día en el que me gustó un chico por primera vez…Que tendría…5 ó 6 añitos?..
También recuerdo mi primer amor de verdad… Quien podría olvidarlo…
Recuerdo el día que por primera vez, noticias sobre un curioso grupo, que ahora es mi obsesión y recuerdo además el momento exacto en el que mis amigas, hoy más hermanas para mi, y yo decidimos quererlos y seguirlos allá a donde fueran…
Los chicos de este curioso grupo…se habían ganado mi corazón…
El único recuerdo que no logro encontrar…es el día en el que empecé a sentir que podría morir si no te encuentro pronto… Ya que… más allá de la distancia, el tiempo o la edad… Más allá del idioma, ideología o forma de pensar… y más allá de que yo sepa tantísimo de ti y tú nada de mi… Desde lo más profundo de mi corazón y aunque nadie más me crea….Te quiero…
En persona…seguro que no podría decirte ni la mitad de lo que pone en esta carta por que, en el momento en el que tu cuerpo entrara en mi campo de visión mi mundo se congelaría… porque, aún después de reaccionar, mis palabras saldrían de mi boca pero sin hacer ningún sonido… porque aún cuando mi voz llegara a ti… las lágrimas no me dejarían vocalizar… y porque aunque sepa tanto de ti… solo con verte…aunque solo sea en una foto… siento que en realidad….aun no se nada….de ti…
Y eso…rompe mi corazón a cada momento… un corazón que hoy se sostiene cogido por un fino hilo al que a veces llamo…esperanza…
Por eso hoy doy gracias a Dios y al mundo entero porque este día cumples 20 años desde el día en que mi vida empezó a tener sentido, aún sin haber nacido yo aún… mi vida…cobro su sentido… Felicidades por tus 20 años de maravillosa vida.
Se que tendré que mover cielo y tierra y que todos me han tomado siempre por una chica sensata, pero esta es mi locura y mi sueño y lo cumpliré a toda costa.
Soy consciente de que tu corazón esta ocupado y que harías lo que fuera por esa persona especial para ti, pero por esa misma razón te ruego que lo entiendas….; yo también lo haré…
Realmente bendigo el día de hoy 2 de Diciembre de 2010 porque sigues aquí… lejos pero cerca…por eso lo bendeciré como cada año, en cada día, a cada segundo de mi vida, el haberte conocido. Y aunque es una razón egoísta por primera vez en la vida se lo que quiero… Y por eso… gracias…. Con toda mi alma….y… Omedetou…Hikaru-kun…
En realidad….Tu tienes un nivel de vida que….yo…ni tengo…ni probablemente llegue a tener.
Es probable también que, debido a tu trabajo, se te impusiera un mínimo en tus notas…Y creo que aunque te llevara esfuerzo…Realmente pudiste con ello.
Yo por mi parte…soy torpe y baka….pero estoy contenta porque me esfuerzo….porque….centro mis sentimientos en ello….Porque es mi forma egoísta de decirte ‘’te amo’’ a distancia…y consciente de que no lo oyes….
Con solo echarte un ojo….y luego dirigir un solo segundo la mirada hacia mi….podría decir mil y una cosas por las que nunca podría ser apta para ti….Demo….el hecho de ser imperfecta, débil y torpe….me hace fuerte….aunque solo sea cuando tengo que hacerlo por las personas a las que quiero….aunque en realidad…solo sea fuerte para eso…
En apenas….una horas...dejarás de tener 19 años….y pasarás a tener 20…..ya eres todo un hombre ne?.....ya lo eras en realidad…..hombre…niño…..te quiero de todas formas….Lo siento demo…..Hikaru siempre será Hikaru….grande…pequeño…. demasiado mayor para mi……
Nos llevamos exactamente 3 años 11 meses y 29 días….Ne Hikaru…no es genial?....No son mi cuatro años del todo!...
Parece mentira lo sé…..que tipo de loca u obsesa contaría los días?...Eso no lo hacen las personas normales…..
Bueno supongo que…no soy del todo normal….Diferente…no…no creo ser merecedora de esa palabra…..soy solo…..yo….
Yo…. enamorada de ti….
Soy solo Tamara….enamorada de Hikaru….
La misma Tamara que no creía en el amor a primera vista…en el hecho de enamorarse de alguien a quien a penas conoces…..esa misma chica…. Esa misma chica….que se enamoró de ti…al poco tiempo de conocerte….
Esa chica loca y obsesa, bajita, patosa, baka en los estudios, mediocre y sobre todo, desapercibida…..
Será este quizás…..el rasgo que más lejos me hace sentirme de ti?.... A pesar de la distancia…. Y a pesar de la edad…..quizás lo que más duela sea el hecho de que…. Es totalmente lógico que alguien como yo te ame demo….. Nunca lo será al contrario….
Lo sé….realmente lo sé…..demasiado quizás…..demo….. me gusta quererte…. Me gusta sentirme dolida….o sentir que mi corazón se rompe cuando llegan nuevas noticias…. Me gusta por que…..me hace sentirme viva….Hikaru-chan…me hace sentir viva….. Y además única porque….estos sentimientos que hoy guarda mi corazón…son solo míos…y nunca serán de nadie más….ni aunque también me amaras lo serian….
Esos sentimientos…no son como mi corazón….o como mi vida….. Ambas cosas…te las entregaría sin dudarlo demo….mis sentimientos….son….mi alma….. y sin ella…. Yo…no seria yo….. sin Hikaru….y todo lo que siento por el….yo…no seria yo….
Ushio…no seria Ushio……porque Ushio sin Hikaru….no es….nada…
Realmente te quiero….
Feliz día… Yaotome Hikaru…
ENGLISH VERSIÓN: Happy day Yaotome-kun...
It's amazing how time flies ... I still remember the day that I liked a guy for the first time ... that I would was ... 5 or 6 years old? ..
I also remeber my first true love ... Who could forget it ...
I remember the first day that I saw news about a curious group, which now is my obsession and also remember the exact moment that my friends, now more sisters to me, and I decided to love them and follow them beyond where they were ...
Boys in this curious group ... had won my heart ...
The only memory that I can not find ... is the day I started to feel I could die if you do not find you soon ... Because ... beyond the distance, time or age ... Beyond the language, ideology or way of think ... and beyond that I know very much about you and you anything about my ... From the bottom of my heart and although nobody believes me .... I love you ...
At person ... I could not tell even half of what it says in this letter because in the time when your body into my field of vision would freeze my world ... because, even after I'd reaction, my words will leave of my mouth, but without making any sound ... because even when my voice will came to you ... the tears would not allow me vocalize ... and because altough I know so much about you ... just with see you .... only with see a picture ... I really feel that ... still I do not know anything about you ..
And this... breaks my heart all the time ... a heart that now stands taken by a thin thread which is sometimes I called it ... hope ...
So today I thank God and thank all the world because this day marks 20 years since the day my life began to make sense, even without being born yet ... my life had sense ... your way ... Congratulations on your 20 years of wonderful life.
Actually .... You have a standard of living that .... I ... I haven't had ... and probably not get to have.
It is also likely that because of your work, you impose a minimum in your studies ... And I think if you really take effort ...but you could with it.
I for one am clumsy ... .... But I'm happy because I work .... Because .... Center my feelings about it .... Because it's my selfish way of saying ''I love you'' at a distance ... and I realizing that you not hear me ....
With just look at you once .... And then direct the vist one look at me .... Could say a thousand and one things which are reasons I could never be suitable for you .... But .... The fact of being imperfect, weak and stupid .... makes me stronger .... if only when I have to do for the people I love .... but really ... I'm only strong for this ...
Today you not have 19 years .... And you'll have 20 ... .. You're all a man ne?..... But really ... .. man ... boy ... .. I love you anyway .... I'm sorry but ... .. always Hikaru will be Hikaru .... big ... small ....or too old for me ...
You're exactly 3 years 11 months and 29 days older than me .... Ne Hikaru-kun ... not are four years at all! ...
I know it seems unbelievable ... .. what kind of crazy or obsessed would count the days? ... That's not what normal people do ... ..
Well guess ... I'm not quite normal .... Different ... no ... I do not believe to be worthy of that word ... .. ... .. I'm just ....
I .... fall in love with you ....
Tamara I'm just .... falls in love with Hikaru ....
It's amazing how time flies ... I still remember the day that I liked a guy for the first time ... that I would was ... 5 or 6 years old? ..
I also remeber my first true love ... Who could forget it ...
I remember the first day that I saw news about a curious group, which now is my obsession and also remember the exact moment that my friends, now more sisters to me, and I decided to love them and follow them beyond where they were ...
Boys in this curious group ... had won my heart ...
The only memory that I can not find ... is the day I started to feel I could die if you do not find you soon ... Because ... beyond the distance, time or age ... Beyond the language, ideology or way of think ... and beyond that I know very much about you and you anything about my ... From the bottom of my heart and although nobody believes me .... I love you ...
At person ... I could not tell even half of what it says in this letter because in the time when your body into my field of vision would freeze my world ... because, even after I'd reaction, my words will leave of my mouth, but without making any sound ... because even when my voice will came to you ... the tears would not allow me vocalize ... and because altough I know so much about you ... just with see you .... only with see a picture ... I really feel that ... still I do not know anything about you ..
And this... breaks my heart all the time ... a heart that now stands taken by a thin thread which is sometimes I called it ... hope ...
So today I thank God and thank all the world because this day marks 20 years since the day my life began to make sense, even without being born yet ... my life had sense ... your way ... Congratulations on your 20 years of wonderful life.
I know that I'll have to move heaven and earth and I know that everybody has thinked that I always have been a responsable girl, but this is my madness and my dream and I will fulfill it at all costs.
I realize that your heart is busy and would do anything for that special someone for you, but for that very reason I beg you to understand me ...., I will do too ...
Really I bless this day December 2, 2010 because you're here ... far but so close ... I will bless him as every year, every day, every second of my life, I met you. And I know that it's a selfish reason but for the first time in life I want something ... And so ... thank you .... With all my soul. ... And ... ... happy bithday...Hikaru-kun
Actually .... You have a standard of living that .... I ... I haven't had ... and probably not get to have.
It is also likely that because of your work, you impose a minimum in your studies ... And I think if you really take effort ...but you could with it.
I for one am clumsy ... .... But I'm happy because I work .... Because .... Center my feelings about it .... Because it's my selfish way of saying ''I love you'' at a distance ... and I realizing that you not hear me ....
With just look at you once .... And then direct the vist one look at me .... Could say a thousand and one things which are reasons I could never be suitable for you .... But .... The fact of being imperfect, weak and stupid .... makes me stronger .... if only when I have to do for the people I love .... but really ... I'm only strong for this ...
Today you not have 19 years .... And you'll have 20 ... .. You're all a man ne?..... But really ... .. man ... boy ... .. I love you anyway .... I'm sorry but ... .. always Hikaru will be Hikaru .... big ... small ....or too old for me ...
You're exactly 3 years 11 months and 29 days older than me .... Ne Hikaru-kun ... not are four years at all! ...
I know it seems unbelievable ... .. what kind of crazy or obsessed would count the days? ... That's not what normal people do ... ..
Well guess ... I'm not quite normal .... Different ... no ... I do not believe to be worthy of that word ... .. ... .. I'm just ....
I .... fall in love with you ....
Tamara I'm just .... falls in love with Hikaru ....
The same Tamara who did not believe in love at first sight ... in fact in love with someone who barely know ... .. the same girl .... That same girl .... who loved you ... bit time after to meet you....
That girl crazy and obsessed, short, clumsy, silly in school and above all, unnoticed ... ..
Is this perhaps ... .. the further feature that makes more me feel away about you ?.... Despite the distance .... And despite the age ... .. maybe what hurts more is the fact that .... It is only logical that someone like me love you but ... .. Never be the contrary ....
I know .... I really know ... .. maybe ... .. but too ... .. Like I love you .... I like feeling hurt .... Or feel my heart breaks when it comes new news .... I like that because ... .. it makes me feel alive .... ... Hikaru-chan makes me feel alive ... .. And only because .... These feelings that keep my heart today ... are just mine ... and will never be anyone else .... And although you would love me .... I can't will give you it.
These feelings ... not like my heart .... Or my life ... .. Both ... I would give them without hesitation but .... My feelings .... are like.... My soul ... .. and without it .... I would not be me ... ... .. without Hikaru... and all I feel for him .... I wouldn't be I
Ushio wouldn't be Ushio because Ushio without you... she without you... isn't anything
I really really love you ....
Yaotome Hikaru happy day ... ...
With all my love.... Ushio... or.... really... Tamara...
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